So recently, I was reading a South African love book “the beauty behind the orange uniform” and there was a part in the book that spoke about a book by Dr. Gary Chapman called “the five love languages” and as I was reading that chapter, I got to think of my daughters love language. This has saved so many relationships and marriages and I thought this would be a great way for me to build an even stronger relationship with my daughter and I actually found out that he does have a children’s version which you can be purchased either as an audio book or at book stores. You probably wondering what are these 5 languages of love and how do they help me communicate my toddler? Let me give you a small version of how I understand each one.
Physical Touch: Your child may like to be in your arms, get those hugs and kisses, those pats on the back. Doing this for your child reassures them of your love for them, it’s such a small gesture but it goes a long way to making your child happy, making them feel safe and love.
Words of Affirmation: positive, kind, reassuring words like “I love you”, “I care about you”. These words provide your child with inner sense of worth and security (please check my previous post to fully understand how words of affirmation can build and make a child feel secure).
Quality time: This means to give your child your undivided attention. It is a gift of presence that reassures your child that they are important to you. When your child seeks your attention through maybe dragging you to play with them. Sometimes even things like misbehaving or throwing tantrums are just ways of them wanting to have your attention.
Gifts: This is random gifts given out of love go your child. One does however need to note that rewarding a child for something they have dome or an achievement is not the same as gifting your child. It is also important to give gifts all the time to avoid confusing the child into thinking that love is defined through gift giving.
Acts of service: simple things like dressing up your babies doll when the clothes come off, fixing their bicycle, or when they want to learn something new through helping you do certain things. As much as this is something parents do on a daily basis it is rather important to note the requests and attend to them.
Do you know your child’s love language? How does your child express their love to you? Do you take note of what your child complains about the most? I’d love to hear your thoughts.