When is the right time for baby number 2?
Baby Q is now 16months old and I’m just here thinking… When is it ok for me to have the second baby? What makes it ok for me to bring her a younger sibling? Is it even something that one plans?
Yesterday I held a two-week old baby in my hands and I just felt broody, I missed that feeling of holding my own little baby and being careful enough to make sure they don’t fall. I miss that feeling of being afraid to turn over in bed because that tiny little human being is right next to you and you don’t want to squash them. I miss watch a little human being breath as they sleep and torturing myself with the fear of them not waking up from that beautiful sleep. Heck, I found myself laughing and saying I even miss the sleepless nights but something in me hit hard, a feeling I do not like, a young question in my mind; is it not too early for you to be missing such?
I don’t know if this is something that only happens in black families or what but I’ve had to watch young women be ashamed of their pregnancies because they are told the first baby is too young to give them a sibling, that you rushed into it, some will even be concerned if you value your life and whether or not you have any goals in life, especially if you are not married. In the black community it is regarded as a shame to fall pregnant out of wedlock and having a 2nd baby still out of wedlock is even worse, it’s not supposed to be celebrated or enjoyed because it is wrong? But now I want to know, who exactly is it wrong for?
I mean, surely if I were to fall pregnant today, that 2nd baby would myself and my partners responsibility, just the same way baby Q has been till now. So now if that is the case, why should I be made to feel somewhat because I’ve decided it’s time for a second baby while my first is still young? When exactly is the “right time” to fall pregnant again because to this day I’ve never had anyone tell me that.
Living in a black community where everyone forever feels their entitled to an opinion about how a person should live their life is quite exhausting, especially when people do not even help raise that child.
How old was your 1st child when you had your 2nd baby? Or how old will your 1st child be when you decide to give them a sibling? Is your decision in any way affected by what people will say?